overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
If its not for food we ain't going out.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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