so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
