maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
