I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
