I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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