Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
