A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
This house was built for laser tag.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
