it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
