That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
