My liver just broke up with me...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You made out with two different species that night
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
