Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
