I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize