Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
