Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
