He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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