with your own penis?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I am one with the molecules
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
