I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize