You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
