i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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