I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
