Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Another day, another engagement, another cat
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize