I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
she peed on how many people?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I am one with the molecules
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
