Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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