I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
