using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize