I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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