Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
