I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
