Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
