So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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