Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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