When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
