Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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