1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
