A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
