but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
