no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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