You work out of a Hotel?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
