Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
