he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
