Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
