Kiss
Puke
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Slut skills are useful in every country.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
