Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize