I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
