If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Your mouth is God's brothel.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
