'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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