I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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