I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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