but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
