He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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