so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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