I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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