weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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