Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
