there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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