I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
