my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize