At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
