I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
