I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
