At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Randomize
