But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
