hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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