its not stalking. its research.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
