i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
True strength comes from lack of pants
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
