I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
