Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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