I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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