I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
