Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
