this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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